you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
