And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
