If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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