take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
