We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
