Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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