you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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