4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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