like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
