what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
