Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This house was built for laser tag.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
