We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
