Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
