Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
