Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
