i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
