Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Bring me that man meat
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
