Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
