suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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