Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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