Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
