Don't you send me to vm
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
