remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
