i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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