i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
