Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
zippers are such a cool invention
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
