I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
