Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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