That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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