So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
