who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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