you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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