i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
