You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
