i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
