im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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