you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
