You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
