we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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