Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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