First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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