why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
