hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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