My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
