some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
