Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
