Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize