remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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