I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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