May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
